7 Things I Did To Control My Anger

In this video, I share 7 powerful keys that have helped me navigate conflict, manage anger, and enhance my emotional intelligence. These lessons are practical, personal, and rooted in real growth, not theory.

1. Key #1

My approach to being more assertive is simple: Jefferson Fisher
One: I think about what I want this person to know and how I want the conversation to end. Then I communicate that directly to them, without beating around the bush.

“I need to talk to you about what you said last night. I felt disrespectful, and I want us to leave this conversation on the right foot.”

If they say No, don’t force it. It may mean that person doesn’t deserve the place you put them at, or it’s just not a good time to talk.

2. Key #2

My New Approach is this:
One: Pause, when they disrespect you, and ask them to repeat themselves (you’re saying I’m stupid)
Second: Actively Listen to see if they are being respectful and are just sharing their feelings. Agree with them ( agreeing doesn’t mean they are right, it just means you understand them)
Third: Remember who they think you, is not who you are. You don’t need to defend yourself.

3. Key #3

Here is my approach and my tells:
I feel defensive and offended
My body gets tense
It feels harder to breathe
I basically feel like I’m going to turn into the ,Hulk but it’s not instant

My approach:
I’m getting angry, I walk away and take some time to calm down
I only come back once I’m ready to talk, no one can force me to have a conversation I don’t want to have, or I’m not ready to have

4. Key #4

One: Remind myself, actively listen. Node, say hmm, and once the person is done talking, give a summary of the overall talking points. Ask them if you missed anything or if they want to add anything else.
Two: Agree with them, say that sounds important, I can understand why you feel that way

5. Key #5

My approach;
One: That’s below my Standard for a Response
Two: If you want to have a conversation without insults, I’m willing to have it, if not, I’m not.
Third: You don’t need to have the last word. The Last words, often are the most hurtful and offensive.

6. Key #6

My Approach:
One: Silence, when someone says something hurtful, be silent, let them sit with what they just said.
Second: Ask Them to Repeat it. What did you say?
Third: Ask if they meant to be Hurtful or disrespectful?

7. Key #7

My Approach:
Double Breath (breathe in through your nose, take another breath, and let it out)
Long Breath ( Give your lungs a lot of oxygen )
Time Out, I need to breathe (go away and take time to breathe and process )

Most Important Advice
@jeffersonfisher
@DrChristianConte
Anger Management Workbook for Men: Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions
by Aaron Karmin LCPC (Author),
Therapist (Optional but Helpful)

00:00 – Start Here
01:09 – Key #1
02:57 – Key #2
04:37 – Key #3
06:20 – Key #4
08:53 – Key #5
10:48 – Key #6
12:34 – Key #7
14:27 – Most Important Advice

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