Technology is a big source of fear for parents. With widening usage among young people and seamless integration into homes and the lives of children, it’s no surprise that 52% of parents view parenting today as more difficult than in the past due to tech. Data from 2024 also reveals that 63% of parents believe the Internet negatively impacts their children’s health while over half think screen time affects their child’s sleep. For Black children, especially, the negative effects of technology have been two-fold. Even when new tech is created, bias is built in.

Ying Xu, an Assistant Professor of AI in Learning and Education at Harvard University, says that it is entirely understandable that parents may have fears about AI. “A certain level of fear can be beneficial, as it encourages caution and potentially a more “hands-on” approach.”

However, she doesn’t recommend rejecting the idea of understanding or exploring what AI might offer solely because of fear. “I think well-designed, child-appropriate AI might bring benefits, and while there are undoubtedly risks, we can find ways to mitigate those risks,” Professor Xu explains.

She says this can be achieved by being attentive listeners, thoughtful observers, and active co-users of AI alongside children. By approaching AI with a balanced mindset, parents can help ensure its use is both safe and beneficial.

This is a point Shawna Wells, founder and CEO of B is for Black Brilliance, and author of a children’s book by the same name, agrees with. “When caregivers embrace tech as part of the world their children are growing up in, they can shape their children’s experience with it in meaningful and positive ways. The tech, the chatbots, and the AI-enhanced everything are here to stay. Instead of fearing what’s in front of us, caregivers can approach technology with purpose and align its use with their values.”

Wells says that it’s important to remember that technology isn’t inherently harmful; the key lies in how it is used. “As caregivers, we can guide children to understand the benefits and limitations of technology and to use it responsibly. Fear often creates distance, but engagement—and more importantly, connection—creates opportunities to model critical thinking, set boundaries, and have age-appropriate conversations about what’s happening on those screens. By embracing tech as part of the world children are growing up in, caregivers can shape their kids’ experiences in meaningful and positive ways.”

Professor Xu adds that she thinks the first question caregivers should ask themselves is what type of “relationship” they might envision their children building with AI. “First, parents should be good observers and listeners. The impact of AI really depends on the individual child. When introducing AI into your household, it’s important to be mindful and aware of how your children are using AI and to notice any changes in their behavior. While we may not always make the best decisions, by taking small, intentional steps, we create opportunities to adjust and change course as needed.”

There are a few ways parents can use AI to support their parenting efforts, according to Professor Xu—the first is by using AI as a source of information. “Search engines and social media have long been valuable tools for parents to gather information, and AI can serve as an additional resource,” she explains. For example, she says that tools like Gemini on Google automatically summarize search results to address specific questions, providing a quick way to get an initial glimpse of information (though it’s important to remain cautious about misinformation).

Secondly, she acknowledges that AI might play a role in parenting dynamics. “Studies have shown that parents sometimes use AI as an objective, neutral third party to help manage conflict-prone moments in the household. For instance, parents might ask AI to act as a timer to facilitate transitions between activities,” she observes.

“Lastly, there are AI tools specifically designed to encourage parent-child co-use. One example is AI reading apps that suggest discussion questions for parents to explore with their children,” Professor Xu highlights. “Research shows that asking children questions and discussing stories while reading together significantly benefits their language development. However, many parents may not be aware of these benefits or may lack strategies to implement them. By facilitating these discussions, AI can help promote parent-child interactions and further support children’s language development.”

From Problem to Solution

Wells has further ideas on how parents can support children as they begin to build a relationship with technology. Instead of preaching abstinence, she aims to provide caregivers with a helpful tool that can be used in dialogue with children and get them thinking critically about their experiences on screens and when using AI.

“As much as we might try to push against it, technology is woven into nearly every part of children’s lives today,” Wells acknowledges. “Every child born since 2013 has had digital technology integrated into their world since their first breath. It’s part of their DNA, and it’s used in schools across the country to support learning, assess daily lessons, and provide tutoring assistance.”

“In recent years, tools like ChatGPT have entered the scene, capable of assisting with everything from homework to, in extreme examples, acting as a virtual companion for students seeking connection. Social media, which has been on caregivers’ radars for years, now works hand-in-hand with AI filters—new tools that shape how kids present themselves online,” she explains.

She says that technology now serves as both a utility and a form of social currency. “It influences how children learn, communicate, and perceive themselves and the world around them. When used intentionally, tech and AI-powered tools can unlock creativity and foster connection. However, if used passively, they can also introduce misinformation, social comparison, and biases, which are often embedded in AI systems. That’s where caregivers—and the B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T. framework—come in,” Wells says.

“Parents and caregivers can start by asking questions and listening. Talking with kids helps them understand themselves and build confidence in their relationship with technology. That’s why we created the B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T. framework,” Well explains.

It provides caregivers with a way to foster confidence and create meaningful dialogue. Each letter represents a key area for connection and discussion. “For instance, the “B” stands for belonging, encouraging questions like, “On social media, do you feel like there’s a space where everyone fits in, like a digital home?” These conversations encourage children to observe and understand technology—not judge it—and to think critically about how they engage with it.”

Wells notes that it’s not meant to be sequential; caregivers can select a question from any of the principles – Belonging, Representation, Identity, etc. – and use it to help their child(ren) better understand their online world. “This can be done during a Sunday dinner, or in the car while driving to school. It’s meant to be easy and have a long-lasting impact. It’s about moving beyond simply monitoring screen time to building a shared understanding of how technology impacts their lives—and their future.”

Beyond individual tech use, Wells says that such discussions also open doors to raising cultural awareness. Caregivers can highlight when technology uplifts or perpetuates systemic biases. “For Black children, who are growing up in a world that often fails to reflect their brilliance or prioritize their stories, these conversations are crucial. With DEI initiatives in schools being reduced or eliminated, teaching children to engage thoughtfully with technology and reflect on when it helps or harms them builds their awareness, critical thinking, and creative activism.”

“The B is for Black Brilliance B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T. AI Framework is a tool designed to help families create culturally affirming conversations that build self-confidence, connection, and self-love in children,” Wells explains. “It fills the gap created by a society that often sidelines or misrepresents Black voices, offering families the resources they need to intentionally center and celebrate Black identity in daily life.”

Furthermore, she explains that if children grow up in environments where their culture, history, and individuality are celebrated, they develop the confidence to navigate the world with a sense of security and curiosity. “These affirming conversations build the foundation for stronger family bonds and emotional resilience, allowing children to see their value reflected back to them in meaningful ways. This ultimately counters the negative impacts of systemic bias, helping families and communities thrive in a society that often diminishes or overlooks their contributions,” Wells notes.